Divorce Saga: Why is the world thumbing up for Hakimi? Did he act smart? Nigerians answer!

By Prisca Sam-Duru

In 2021, African soccer star, Tendai Ndoro, went bankrupt after years of a successful career playing for clubs in South Africa. The reason for his bankruptcy after making so much fortune, is all over the media; he committed the greatest blunder of trusting his wife to the extent of registering his property in her name.

All that, the former Zimbabwean international lost when they divorced. His wife, a South African, Thando Maseko, allegedly kicked Ndoro out of their Kyalami home in Johannesburg, took his house, sleek cars and, everything.

Just as friends came to his rescue through contributions, so it was for another African star, former Arsenal player, Emmanuelle Eboue. Eboue’s dilemma in the hands of his Belgium wife Aurelie, was a clear example of transition from opulence, to rags. Aurelie stripped him of all of his assets; £7m of his hard-earned money, in addition to his mansion in Enfield, UK. Fed up with evading bailiffs and living the life of a pauper, he contemplated suicide. Thank God his friends came to his rescue.

After learning the hard way, Eboue decided to wed the same girlfriend he earlier dumped for his European wife. Once beaten, twice shy, you’d say.

The cases of Ndoro and Eboue are just two out of so many footballers whose lives had been wrecked by brutal divorce. Recall the case of former football running back, actor and broadcaster, Orenthal James Simpson which is still regarded as the most bloody of divorce cases over the years. Married in 1985 and divorced in 1992, Simpson’s wife, Nicole Brown won a $433,000 cash settlement and $10,000 per month in child support.

Sadly, Brown Simpson didn’t live to enjoy her booty; she was murdered alongside her man friend, one of OJ’s rivals, Marcus Allen. Also, there’s David Benjamin James MBE, a 52-year-old English former professional footballer who played as a goalkeeper. Despite earning an impressive £20m from his football career, a messy divorce from his wife Tanya in 2005, pushed him into debts. He parted with £3 million as divorce settlement. Same goes for Thierry Daniel Henry, French professional football coach, and former player, who was forced to pay his ex-wife, English model Nicole Merry, (Claire), £8 million in a divorce settlement.

From the tragic divorce stories cited above, it’s easy to deduct what informed the thumbs up the PSG footballer, Achaf Hakimi is receiving for registering his assets in his mother’s name. Since the news of Hakimi and wife, Hiba Aboukhris Benslimane’s divorce drama graced the internet stage a couple of days ago, the case has generated series of divergent views, with men most especially, hailing the Moroccan footballer for outsmarting Hiba.

His action they opine, was borne out of the need to protect his wealth in the event of a divorce. The Spanish actress and model, reportedly asked for more than half of her husband’s property in her divorce filings only to discover there was no treasury to share from. Her man who earns €1 million per month from PSG, registered his assets in his mother’s name. Did Hakimi act smart or as crafty as a fox?

And just when you think you’ve heard the worst of divorce cases, that of Cristina Carta Villa, 59, and her 90-year-old husband, Gabriel Villa, confirms how much the marriage institution has been bastardised. If you think Hakimi is crazy, just read about Gabriel and Cristina’s dubbed the craziest divorce of all time. Back in 1994, Gabriel met Cristina who was 30 years younger, at a party and that was it.

They married and stayed so; happily for 20 years. When Christina decided to divorce Gabriel, she was stunned with the information that she was already divorced from Gabriel 20 years ago. How did it happen? Four months after their marriage, the couple took a trip to Dominican Republic for a vacation and Gabriel secretly divorced her there because in that country, one party can file for a divorce without the other’s knowledge. All the while, the old man made sure his money/property was safe. She was quoted as saying, “It’s a fraud.

I realize now that during all these years of joy and happiness, and of difficult moments we shared together, my husband lied to me and had the Dominican divorce on the back of his mind. It’s what is hurting me the most.” The cases of Gabriel and Hakimi are more like the proverbial bird that said it has learned to fly without perching since hunters learned to shoot without missing.

The phobia of losing half of all the assets one worked hard to acquire, might have informed their craftiness.

Reactions trailing Hakimi vs Hiba’s divorce saga

Interestingly, not all men are supporting Hakimi. And not all women are backing Hiba either, because, there are truly women who see marriage as business venture.

Reacting to Hakimi’s divorce saga, Communication Expert and Adjunct Faculty, Pan-Atlantic University, Dr Kizito Alakwe said “What Hakimi did, if it’s on purpose, is like taking action before actual event. It shows that his mind was never in the marriage. You can’t be marrying a woman with such plan at the back of your mind; it’s dangerous and for me it’s nonsense.

“I don’t support Hakimi and do not also support the woman who wanted to get his money through divorce. But Hakimi is guilty when you consider that registering his property in his mother’s name came before the divorce.

“Hakimi could be of a different faith but as a Christian I can’t support him and no Christian who believes what the Bible says about a man leaving his parents and cleaving to his wife, should support him. He acted first and that’s wrong. Assuming that in reaction to court proceedings, he quickly transfers his earnings to his mother, it’s a different case but he did that from day one of his relationship with his wife. Anybody supporting Hakimi does not believe in the institution called marriage.”

Also, lending his voice, popular Nigerian Catholic priest, Rev Fr Chinenye Oluoma, wrote: “Your wife is not your relative, that’s true. She’s not your mum or sister, that’s absolutely true. Yet, none of these is your wife, she’s the only person who is one with you in body and soul. The rest are secondary to your wife and in your life.

“Let’s not distract the real issues about marriage from legal issues that vary from country to country. Hakim and his wife will settle their issue according to the law of their country and move on. Whatever happens between them is not a universal template. Get ready to face your own challenges, pray to have a marriage that will not get so bad as to head towards divorce. E no easy anywhere, we just pray for grace to overcome.”

Mrs Eno Uwem, a marriage counsellor does not also see anything good with the manner Hakimi treated his wife. According to her, “there’s no decency in the young man’s action. It shows lack of trust and love in their relationship and the mother, a woman for that matter, shouldn’t have supported him. But then, you can’t blame those who are congratulating him due to what most men have suffered in the hands of some gold diggers. There’s so much craze for flashy lifestyle now and that’s why couples are breaking up anyhow.”

Nigerian singer Peter Okoye, known as Mr. P, also refused to see anything smart or wise about Hakimi’s action. Reacting, Mr P, in a series of tweets, wondered why most men are rejoicing. He however advised that anyone who cannot trust his wife, shouldn’t marry her. He wrote, “I don’t understand why most men are rejoicing over this Hakimi story? Like I don’t get it. The truth is bitter but needs to be told. If you don’t trust her, then don’t marry, as simple as that. Or are you expecting your wife to suffer after a divorce?…Pls Marry your Mother!.”

Men who’ve thrown their weights behind Hakimi got it hot from a Netizen. She wrote: “any man who buys all his assets in his mother’s name already has plans to be an irresponsible husband. Everywhere I turn to, I see Nigerian men hailing what Achraf Hakimi did…Building a strong, healthy partnership based on mutual trust and commitment is crucial for a successful and fulfilling marriage.”

Divorce now trending among Nigerians

There is unprecedented divorce rate in the Nigerian community especially in the US. Nigerian families in the US are increasingly becoming more Western than the indigenes. To avoid child support issues, Nigerian men refuse any entanglement with ‘Akata’- derogatory name for American ladies who trap black guys with marriage. They’d rather marry Nigerian ladies and get them join them abroad. Stories abound of how most of these Nigerian ladies have become worse than the so called ‘akata’. Many of them are now in the business of locking out their husbands from homes the men ‘built’. Believe it, the number of single parents in the Nigerian community is taking a frightening and astronomical rise. This is sad!

Back home in Nigeria, in 2022 alone, Nigeria recorded an abysmal number of divorce cases among celebrities. Anita and Paul Okoye, Dancers Kaffy and Joseph Ameh, Korra Obidi and Justin, Abdulrasheed Bello, better known as JJC Skillz and Funke Akindele; Gideon Okeke and Chidera, Kalu Ikeagwu and Ijeoma, Yewande Adekoya and Abiodun Ishola Thomas, Obinna Nwafor, aka Saint Obi and Lynda Nwafor; Julius Agwu and Ibiere, Basketmouth and Elsie, etc, reportedly divorced. This is proof that the Nigerian celebrities have caught the West’s divorce bug. The only difference is that in this part of the world, the courts do not award women the kind of money their fellows in most foreign countries get.

It’s not in our culture! In most cases, the woman who must have contributed to building the home as a career mother, is kicked out empty handed. That’s too bad! And for individuals who now see every woman as a gold digger, the Korra Obidi and ex-husband’s case may make them change their mind. Korra was quoted as saying recently that she settled the father of her children with $50,000. “I paid that man $50,000. He did not give me one dime. I had to settle him after divorce.”

Why Prenups may end messy divorce

The rate at which families are splitting calls for concern. To avoid catastrophic divorce which could be life threatening, intending couples are now opting for prenuptial agreement. According to reports, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, says 62% of attorneys in a 2016 study revealed that there was a significant rise in prenuptial agreements, also known as prenups.

The largest increase in prenups, they said, was among millennials. A prenuptial agreement- contract between two people engaged to be married, takes care of what happens to their assets in case they split later. Prenups seems the best way to checkmate spouses, women especially, who go into marriages for wrong reason. Perhaps, if Hakimi had signed a prenups with his wife, there wouldn’t have been need to dribble her in such manner.

Hakimi’s Wife Breaks Silence, says ‘it’s emotionally complicated’

Achraf Hakimi, Paris Saint-Germain (PSG) defender’s ex-wife, Hiba Abouk has finally broken the silence over her divorce from the Moroccan footballer.

According to Abouk, she was calm despite the rape allegation leveled against Hakimi, adding that she needed time to digest the shock.

Speaking to ELLE, Abouk said, “I am fine. There are days when it is like this, and others in which you’ve to know how to take blows and make decisions, sometimes complicated, and get used to new situations.

Who would’ve imagined that in addition to facing the usual pain that separation entails and accepting the grief that the failure of a family project to which I had given myself body and soul entails, I would’ve to face this ignominy? I needed time to digest this shock.

She further said “When you separate, you restructure your life, but it’s not anything special either: you’ve to take iron out of the matter.

“It’s true that, with two children, it is emotionally complicated, but I’m not the first and I will not be the last. The important thing is that I have the peace of mind of having tried and done everything I had to do.

“There are decisions that cannot be made overnight. For me, it’s a premise not to rush in moments of crisis.”